As fragile as Porcelain
by KeepCalmFanFicExists
Summary: Seven year old Bellatrix cannot sleep at night and she knows exactly what the reason is. She shouldn't be bothered really, but she can see their eyes gleaming in the dark...


_Written for Challenge 97 of the Bellatrix Lestrange: The Dark Lord's Most Faithful forum. The theme was "toys" of any kind._

_A thank you to Ella for, you know, everything :) Enjoy. _

Bellatrix switched sides in bed kicking the heavy blankets and duvets aside, even though it was a chilly night. She hadn't slept well these days, a very common occurrence, but lately it had been more difficult than usual. Twisting and turning, she wouldn't find comfort to rest her small fragile body and when sleep did come, it was haunted by the same glassy eyes that would make her wake up in the middle of the night to seek some coolness from the open window.

She was lying on the bed with her eyes closed in a pretence of sleep, hoping she would fool herself into thinking her body was actually relaxing. But even if her body could be fooled, her mind couldn't. Bellatrix hated to admit it to herself, but she was scared. Since she could stand, she had been proving to everyone, especially her family, that Bellatrix Black had no fear-o-meter, nothing fazed her, there was not a single challenge where she wouldn't rise to the occasion. And still, she couldn't sleep because of _them. _She felt... watched. Judged. Like she was told she wasn't worthy enough, pretty enough, sophisticated enough. Like she was different from them.

Bellatrix didn't want to hear it. She was trying, she was doing her best every single day to do as she was told and keep her temper at bay and play nicely with her sisters and the other kids of the families, she didn't need Little Miss Sunshines reminding her the disappointment of her parents regarding her gender and character, telling her how far away from the insane standards she was! She had to put up with all of this every day no matter where she was, couldn't she get a little bit of privacy to sleep? Seriously, getting a decent night's sleep would even help her get better. But no, the torture had no end for her.

Boiling with anger, she got to her feet abruptly and every candle in the room was lit up. Bellatrix stood very still in the middle of her room quietly scanning the perimeter, only her eyes revealing the fear and hatred she was feeling.

There, all around the big room, stood a large number of porcelain dolls. It was a really impressive collection that contained dolls in every size, colour and style. All of them were dressed lavishly in expensive dresses, hats and shoes, clutching a fan or a parasol. Next to each of them, a leather trunk kept safe their other outfits; walking dresses and dancing-frocks, ermine-cloaks and laced-underwear, even silk handkerchiefs with their respective names embroidered at the side. And they were all pretty names, appropriate for young society girls. They didn't leave insinuations that their bearer would ever act like a man; they were delicate flowers or lovely witches of the past.

Bellatrix had been receiving one in celebrations and every time a relative travelled and brought back gifts. The latest addition to the tea-party was a doll her Great Aunt Cassiopeia had brought from Paris. Her name was Emily, meaning hard-working; because a proper young woman of her class had to work hard to keep her family, house and reputation intact. She was almost as tall as a four year old child and her trunk was full of clothes and accessories that could have once belonged to Bellatrix herself. Under her mother's gaze, Bellatrix had attempted to change the doll's outfit to please her elderly aunt. It had been difficult. Stiff limbs and overly delicate fabrics that could rupture with the slightest force had almost driven her crazy. In the end she managed the task, congratulating herself that she hadn't attempted it before. It had been as boring as it could get. And Cissy would do that thing all day...

Still, Emily was very pretty, her sisters insisted; her emerald velvet dress brought out her rich brown hair falling in perfect ringlets to the shoulders. Her eyes were brown too, with flecks of gold, emphasized by the long eyelashes that seemed real. Bellatrix had read in books brown eyes being described as warm and beautiful, a joy to look at, but these eyes were cruel. They were staring right at her, telling her she wasn't made for the job. They were _evil_.

Bellatrix gave a good look at Emily and then let her gaze roam around the others, as well. Sooner or later she would have to go back to bed. But she couldn't. Not with the eyes.

Quietly and very consciously, she focused her mind on making them go, disappear from her life. The next second her hands were empty, Emily and the others gone forever. A smirk curled her lips. She would be sleeping well from now on.

_Thank you for reading, please let me know what you think._


End file.
